Lord of the Pies 2016 – The Fire

It’s November, which means we’re participating yet again in Rhode Island Food Fights‘ annual Lord of the Pies event. Which means my little dude was armed with enough coupons to treat us and our friend Dan to pizza at The Fire in North Providence.


“Why are jokes about bread so funny?” Moonie asked our server as she brought him some rolls and garlic-infused olive oil.
“Why?” she asked.
“‘Cause they never get MOLD! Get it? Mold?” he hooted.


“What do bakers give to ladies on special occasions?” he asked.
“Er, what?” she asked, looking around the room.
“FLOURS!” Moonie shouted, but our server was backing away. She suddenly had another table to take care of.
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Lord of the Pies, Stop 14: Tomaselli’s at Rosario

Oh boy oh boy! Moonie thought we had finished Lord of the Pies, but the nice folks at Tomaselli’s at Rosario are still accepting pizza passports through Friday. So of course we had to go last night!

When we arrived, we finally understood their name. Tomaselli’s is the restaurant inside of a social club called Rosario’s that hosts bunches of functions. Moonie liked that they had a few Christmas trees and a disco ball around their function room.


And he made himself right at home on the fancy leather office chairs that spin around. What a fun way to sit around a bar!


Then he had to hop up on said bar because he wanted to see what was on TV.

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Lord of the Pies, Stop 13

Oops – Moonie and I had a little trouble trying Andrews Commons. It didn’t occur to us that they’d be closed while Brown University was on Thanksgiving break; they were open only to fill pie orders over the weekend. Then Moonie and I went to the 211 Bowen Street address on the Lord of the Pies coupon and walked around and around trying locked dorm doors until poor Moonie’s lower lip quivered in disappointment. Luckily, the folks behind Rhode Island Food Fights are awesome and put each business’s phone number as well as address on each coupon, so I got ahold of someone to ask. The guy on the phone said they’d be back in business on Monday and also suggested using Cushing Street to find a path leading to the Commons’ main entrance, which is open to the public after 10:00 each morning. So tonight, Moonie and I and Slothy the Sloth and Dan strolled through Brown’s pretty campus and found Andrews Common behind a row of tall windows.


Inside, it was very bright and clean and modern.


There were three choices for pizza, and Moonie went for the barbecue chicken ranch. He’s been on a bit of a chicken pizza kick.

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Lord of the Pies, Stop 10

Moonie has been to Nice Slice many times, sometimes to enjoy the yummy and affordable pizza and sometimes to admire the Shepard Fairey artwork splashed all over the walls. On Friday, after checking out Black Friday Record Store Day a few doors down at What Cheer Records + Vintage, Moonie had only pizza on his mind.

Well, first he had soda on his mind. The dude loves Pellegrino. He is terrible at making decisions because he’s afraid if he chooses one flavor, the other flavors will feel bad. Sometimes this results in us having four different cans of soda, which Moonie’s dentist probably wouldn’t approve of.


We had the same trouble choosing a slice of pizza for Lord of the Pies. They all looked so good!

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Lord of the Pies, Stop 9

After Luigi’s, Moonie and I headed just a few doors down the street to Fat Boys Pizza, a fairly new business in the Bond Plaza in Johnston.

Moonie was drawn immediately to their philosophy.


And he liked their health advice, too.


“Ooh, look! Games!” he squealed, scrambling up onto a Jenga.


“Wait, Moonie, that’s not how you -” I started to protest, but all the wooden pieces came tumbling down, along with a giggling Moonie.
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Lord of the Pies, Stop 8

Moonie and I went to Luigi’s Gourmet Express & Restaurant last week to try a slice of pizza. Moonie immediately oohed and aahed over the long waves of shiny counters featuring all kinds of sweet and savory treats.


He equally oohed and aahed over the little display of sweets when we ordered our slice. (Yes, he got a cookie. I’m not a monster.)


He ran ahead to grab us a table and popped out from the little vase of decorative grass, yelling “BOO!” as I walked up with our order. Got me, you little goober.

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Lord of the Pies, Stop 6

Last Sunday night, Moonie and I pushed ourselves through the cold November rain and into the warmth of The Big Cheese & Pub.

He was immediately taken with the fishtank. “Fishies!” he kept squealing. The fishies didn’t squeal back.


I managed to pull him away from his swimmy little friends when we were seated at a table. Moonie immediately opened the menu.

“Look!” he shouted. “Little cheeses! That’s me!”


“That’s for wee little folks with wee little appetites,” I explained.

“Oh,” he said. “That’s not me.”
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